Welcome
Going where the foolish/self entitled have been – where did FIRST DO NO HARM go?
And – who even cares? A case in point. Renee stands in for so many.
FEELINGS – run or ruin a life
We are NOT our bodies, but live within them. The body is ALWAYS trying to help.
Here is a life that has been picking up more than its fair share of LIFE RESIDUE.
Needs clearing – where to start is the question – hence we Triage.
Played out in real life – please get the forms out and use Renee’s case as a learning tool.
That is now the byline for Heather’s Gentling Ways ..
We put all in the biomedical on notice.
As they are sourcerers’ apprentices.
Life story timeline 0-5 yrs ⁃ in Mother’s womb and can remember a big argument between my parents. My dad doubting that I was his baby ⁃ My birth was traumatic. I almost died twice. Cord was wrapped around my neck 3 times. Mums pelvis was ‘too small’ I was stuck. Emergency C section. Then the cut just under my temple. 3 big stitches on a tiny head.
4yrs – my brother was born.
4-5 started school, that was a bit of a transition for me. ⁃ Very sensitive and intuitive ⁃ Saw spirits ⁃ Parents never understood ⁃ Many re occurring scary dreams (astral projection flying) off an on throughout my whole life
5-10 yrs ⁃ 7-9yrs trauma, sexual. Uncle and cousin. Vague memories ⁃
9yrs Glandular fever. I almost died. Had it severely, bed sores, no school for months, secondary hepatitis. Enlarged Liver and Spleen. (Never felt the same again) ⁃ Broken arm (can’t remember age)
10-15yrs ⁃ started having feelings for girls ⁃
14yrs, trauma, dad tried to kill himself, I found him and called ambulance. Whilst also trying to control my mother and help my brother who had collapsed in shock. (Dad lived) ⁃
14 yrs experimenting with boys, had boyfriend (almost 4 years) he was more a ‘friend’ we ‘attempted’ sex once. Protection.
15 very angry teenager ⁃ I think I had one show of my period, then not again, or very irregular until 17yrs. ⁃ Struggling with sexuality and what my parents would think as I knew their views on it
15-20yrs ⁃ A bit of a rebel. Not bad though. ⁃ Smoking, drinking. a fair bit.
18yrs, new long term boyfriend (until 28-29yrs) ⁃ When we first were intimate I had a strong inclination to ask him to wear a condom. Despite knowing he to, only had one sexual partner. He was offended that I asked, “so what must you think of me” type thing. So I just did it unprotected. This would have been when i contracted chlamydia. it went undiagnosed until early/mid 20’s. ⁃
Diagnosed ENDO around 18yrs ⁃ Lots of psychic awakening stuff ⁃ Some quite scary
20-25yrs ⁃ had a car accident around 21st. Whiplash. ⁃
23 bought first house (with Shannon) ⁃ Motorbike accident off a jump/cliff into a tree (felt like I almost does. Had an experience of the trees consciousness that I hit.) broke left leg/knee/ drop foot ⁃ So much pelvic pain. ⁃ Then found I had antibody to chlamydia, I was devastated. Knowing it went untreated ⁃
Endo surgery 25-30yrs ⁃ sold house around 26yrs, it feel more free to travel. But never did. ⁃ We moved tomorrow the coast ⁃ I stated having a lot more pelvic pain. ⁃ Endo surgery ⁃ Now also vaginitis, vulvodynia unknown cause ⁃ Was very angry and upset about chlamydia. Started feeling resentful towards Shannon. ⁃ Didn’t want to have sex with ⁃ Saw a sex counsellor ⁃ Started having feelings for a woman. (Dee, my now partner) ⁃ Shannon encouraged me to explore my sexuality as he knew I was struggling. ⁃ Long story short, Dee and I fell in love ⁃ Took me 2 years to leave Shannon and our life ⁃ I always wanted kids ⁃
I left at 29 yrs. ⁃ Very stressful and traumatic time ⁃ I was very confused
30-35 yrs ⁃ my relationship to sexuality and my body was improving ⁃ But still had pelvic and vaginal pain ⁃ Bit slowly vaginal pain went away ⁃ I felt happy with Dee sexually, but I missed Shannon and our life ⁃ Was grieving my cats, Shannon and the life I wanted ⁃ I felt frozen, and stuck in a way ⁃ But others ways much more free ⁃
Endo surgery around 30 ⁃ Dee and I had a break for a few months somewhere in here, can’t remember exactly.
35- 43 yrs ⁃ around 35 Graves’ disease diagnosis ⁃
40yrs, Dee and I were wobbly. ⁃ Always had struggles to fit into her life with her 4 kids ⁃ Didn’t know my place, or where to put my mother energy ⁃ We broke up for a year
2022-2023 (very sad and angry) ⁃ I then felt able to delve more deeply into my healing while single. ⁃ States yoni mapping. Very helpful for me, my body responded well, expect one time it was too much muscle release. ⁃ She came back into my life to help me with the 2 surgeries. Endo, and total hysterectomy. ⁃ We decided to try again ⁃ Love still there ⁃ Didn’t know my cervix was also being taken (grief) shock ⁃
I had pelvic vein coiling before that in 2022. ⁃ Despite all the healing/surgeries, still in pain. Worse than ever ⁃ We have been back together a year, but I am seeing the same struggles again ⁃ Stopped yoni mapping ⁃ Now Dee progresses to Grandmother ( her first daughter is pregnant) and I don’t know who I am, my place. ⁃ I feel so much grief when seeing all the life progressing through its initiations ⁃ Here I am not even progressing from maiden to mother ⁃ I am sad and angry ⁃ But I also feel that call for something different and free. ⁃ I am sick of feeling stuck, not knowing exactly what I want ⁃ Work was never really the same since Covid. ⁃ I have been back off and on ⁃ Not sure who I am and what I should do anymore ⁃ I feel and take on too much energy ⁃ But also feel the strong pull always coming back to this work.
There may be more, I was actually finding myself dissociating even writing this, off and on. My memory kept going funny too
2024 – Current symptoms – headaches – Whole body tension/stress – Jaw clenching – Vaginal pain, tight – Pain in rectum – Hard to pass stools (constipated diarrhoea) – Sometimes hard to pass urine. Frequency, hard to fully void – Burning bladder – Abdominal pain/tension – Deep groin pain – Painful and tight diaphragm – Sometimes hard to take deep breath (frozen) – Aching pelvis/abdomen – Strangling sensation that can also go deep into my lower back – Abdomen and top of pubic bone can often feel numb – Can also go into labia (not always) – Crying on orgasm since hysterectomy – Pain on orgasm now – Deep contraction pain – Can set off abdomen after that (so I don’t even want to do that anymore) – Muscle spasm whole spine – Was finding it hard to sleep and stay asleep. But since coming off Valium, sleep seems to be improving – Less night time wees too
I asked her about tailbone injuries – “I have pain there right now. Feels like when my pelvic floor and rectum is tight, it pulls on my coccyx”
Things I have learned along the way. Hormones are feelings. To a point. Need ingredients to be made from. Need for those to be seen – and are ‘blinded’ due to chemicals not designed for life, making their way into the body. Need to be circulated – any structural disruption, esp when young, needs correcting. Why? Ovaries/tubes are the conduit/ factory. They are in the thrall of how we feel, as Liver Qi /meridians t.m.m. and luo esp are involved – all is my womb centric version of life. I suggest you let me use you as a ‘case’ to undo and rebuild. You are not alone. Heather’s Gentling Ways works. And first, getting you out of pain – anyone got any ideas on why you for the cyst problem?
There is more. How the body is holding onto all of this. A year ago now
I’m back to square one. Have had serious pain flares and a whole host of symptoms that I can’t even be bothered going into. But basically in and out of hospital and back on pain killers (Minimal) for now. Otherwise I’d actually end it! They have found the culprit. I have Tarlov cyst disease. (Meningeal cysts) in my whole spine. Hence all pain and muscles spasms. They have found 2 large ones in my sacral canal. Impinging nerves, giving constant pain and contractions, and bladder pain/problems and same as bowels. Even had trouble moving my legs. I see pain specialist tomorrow and on wait list for neurosurgeon. They will most likely operate. UPDATE – they will NOT operate.
Surgery will not ‘fix’ the problem or continues leaks, they have no cure. It also eroding/eating into my sacrum bone, and parts of vertebrae
DEATH EASIER? – (we spent some time going through this).
I have been questioning and worrying about even if I leave here, will I still be in a loop of suffering, and will it’s just become karmic debt etc… there is also a feeling of underlying purpose of “this can’t be it, can’t be the end of my story” But I just don’t know.
I had these cysts show up when I was 28 in my thorasic spine. They were ignored and said they are asymptomatic and no possible cure anyway. Not many surgeons attempt this surgery. More in the US they do. But I now have the official diagnosis of this rare condition.
If the pain wasn’t so bad and always here I would have much more capacity and will to continue life… and I would just get on with it.
I should say these cysts are not like a usual cyst. The spinal cord has basically lost its integrity… the cyst is out pouching CSF fluid. So not sure if iodine applies here? Inside the nerve roots, hence the pain. They do say they think these cysts are from trauma/physical trauma. Hard hits, But they don’t really know.
2025 – now – UPDATE A YEAR ON
Mid May – I’m actually doing a lot better. (In some ways) I still have chronic daily pelvic pain. But the intensity and acute flares, are less. So, I’ll take that!
Beginning of August – I am now in hormonal collapse. No detectable hormones on blood. Can barely function.
At the moment I am awaiting a bone scan. Hair falling out, joints seized. A mess! Have no real choice but to do bio identical HRT
I sent this morning
Estrogen – I forgot I had the ovesten cream with me when we went south late April/May. Foolishly chose not to take with me, as was fine on departure except got 30 scrub tick bites – am highly allergic to one. That was a mission to undo whilst sitting in a car, clothes on next to skin, but managed. That set the scene. no scripts for anything, but I did have antibiotics AGAIN on them to survive. Herbs, etc. all it us.
What stirred this up spectacularly was seeing my great acupuncturist in Buderim. He does quite brutal Chi Nei San – learned in exploring thru Tibet etc, his master undoing the karmic, etc, all through belly – hands intention and needles. So it was a stunning session, belly clear in a way I had not been before – then – really bad mess as a rebound. We were going south, me sitting on it all the while. . got bad cystitis – in a mess on our return.
Estrogen is essential. Can’t remember if you still have ovaries, but they may be suffering from all the blockages to flow from various. You know that medical is out of its league here. It maybe useful for surgery. Past that, they flounder, esp not knowing how to see health, its demise, past their drugs, and sparse toolbox, and what creates health in the first place.
Hence, we start unblocking the Bao and the Dai Mai first.
Move into the adhesions, let alone the scars, as
1 – Flows Must Flow. As
2 – Structure Determines Function, have to undo these less than perfect patterns.
3 – Body Remembers Everything That Has Ever Happened
4 – Energy Follows Thought – had to stay lightful with ll this going on. Plus resources – need to be where you can be looked after
5 – Body Heals Itself. In this mess – how?
So we do Triage . .and she is no longer with Dee – her past partner – and feels completely shattered.
This is when we step in – of course – $$ all gone – can’;’t work – all is in disarray, no support and no hope really.
Shen – calm – must have a reason for living – see the Life Recipe again. .
BESIDES ALL OF THIS: 2020 happened. .
JAB INJURY COMPLICATES ALL OF THIS
Those who work with Qi – can – and are super sensitive.
At least there are less being jabbed – but my fellow body worker (Rynn if you have met her) was taken out by the flu jab a woman had the morning before she was with her in the afternoon, massaging – so – beware. the RNA now all are getting – how are the babies even still alive)? are highly dangerous.
SHE KEPT WORKING (We all needed to live) and her passion is stunning Qi moving – the real stuff. Besides being taken out and not having a life worth living – she is not here for all she was magic for – a cautionary tale for me. And all who choose to keep touching the jabbed.
So much of pelvic congestion – and you all have seen how I shift it (and you also can). From the G.C. Refresher class – they both need more – but both are at least hopeful as they have been better from this. Where to even get the word out is the current quandry – and even – why shouId I/we care?
ANSWER – What if it was US???
What to do – see this as a study and use the forms I have sent to study – what happened, what was done – and what you would do at each step were she to have come in to see you then . . as some will. Do not overthink – but feel into this – an see also how; why I teach as I have.
