49 years ago today, I woke to my last day as a maiden. By that evening, I was a mother. Apparently 44 weeks pregnant (why would you believe a young woman about ‘dates’ of potential conception?), I was not induced, as that was seen as being too dangerous.
HINT – it still is.
The obstetric $$$ factory begins our lifetimes of being Bonsaied. No one’s life is enhanced, just as a rose, or a peach – being picked before being ready is less than it would have been.
Please consider. Why is it now appropriate to ignore the design, determining that baby is ‘ripe enough’ at 37 weeks. For a first baby, whose mother has a virgin baby factory, baby is due on a Bell curve – at 42 weeks.
Baby brain development interrupted – no big deal. Baby not ready to breathe – same. As a mum, I ask – who takes that baby home? Baby may not easily flow into independence, having been prematurely booted out of their life support, and may not be a joy to unconditionally love. Nature intended gentle transitions. Who lives forever in the maternal muddles as she rehashes constantly, what could have been? Baby? Gets to deal with mum’s regrets, her shock and her guilts as she also lost the rightness of becoming overripe, and emptied in her own time. Now see the stats of mums on mood enhancers.
Her ability to mother is in doubt, when she leaves the birth traumatized by others telling her/making her do what suits hospital policies. Nature overriden. Mechanically going through the motions is not mothering. We all need to be held in love as we mature outside mum’s inner cocoon. Less than, we are branded. I was that baby. Mums do their best. Mine tried so hard. Yet, we never had the relationship she had with my younger sisters. Broken mother, broken bonding. Shall we revisit what was to be?
My firstborn at 12 days over his conception date, was exactly normal weight, length and head circumference. A little vertex still on his body. Perfect newborn. Had he been extracted earlier, his beginnings would have been fraught. Before epidurals and other new medical gadgetry, birth was more revered. As a ‘hippy’ mum, my babies arrived via the le Boyer method. Placed into a warm bath. After their breathing blood returned to their bodies – not harvested as a stem cell resource. Photos taken show my firstborn’s as a traumatized tight bundle opening like a flower, gazing at his dad. Unfortunately, leave well alone did not extend to his mum, who was forced to birth on her back. Stuff happened, not as nature’s design for either of us. My life work began then.
I determined that no other mother would undergo the unnecessary male tinkering, as I myself was the broken baby of my own broken mother, and forceps were used to extract both my newborn, and myself. I was on a mission. Baby’s dad was a hugely unhealthy, distressed baby/toddler/child/teenager/’grown up’. Not happening in my life. Entering acupuncture college with a 6 week old baby, having hitchhiked up to Brisbane from Upper Main Arm, Mullumbimby for the first semester, we moved to the city, my fate sealed. Having researched all I could in pregnancy on natural living, eating differently and being soul aware, I went my own way through the years, and the decades, offering practical common sense to others. Born of having lived through being woman, pregnant (4 times birthing) and professionally listening, holding space and gently intervening to allow healing for others.
As the only woman acupuncturist/naturopath/body worker in Bne city, who went on to design, write and teach, then mentor new heaing workers, I gave them the woman’s version. Not the mechanical, scary, fearful medical one, but the maternal, from the broken baby’s (me) perspective. My patient in all my reproductive exploits was, and us, the soul coming through. They call me in. At such a vulnerable time, if mum is not respected, honored and given the space and grace to become a newborn mum, the baby, the family, and society are lessened. The baby? I inherited a mad mama. The system broke her. She passed it on. I break this mould. Women bleed, birth, breed, and breastfeed – all from our blood. We are the garden of life.
Because a soul came through to alter my life, countless others have been touched by my drive and passion for perfect mammalian maternity. As we midwives (with women – not MEDwives – following male dictates), doulas, birth workers/grandmothers know – babies are women’s business
I am grateful for all the heart opening that made this life so full. Happy birthing day to me!!!
Why I wrote ‘What Dads Can Do’ – see here
From a dad. . Thankyou Tim
“Birthing definitely is women’s business however when society separates the women from their natural roles someone has to step up to fill the void. As a man my thought was, “Well I got it in there so it’s my responsibility to help it out!” I’ve been a homebirth father 4 times now with varying degrees of involvement depending upon what women were available to help at the time.
‘It was during the most recent of these pregnancies that I met Heather Bruce in the run-up to that water birth. My partner in this venture was getting concerned because by the hospital’s equation she was about 2 weeks overdue and they were pressuring us to have a caesarian. Our doula, Liz Leys suggested we seek Heather’s help and about 8 hours after some acupuncture and moxibustion the baby was born swimming to the surface of the pool completely healthy and strong.
‘Each of my children born at home were able to receive their own full blood from their placenta and avoid the poisons that usually get injected into baby humans at the start of their existence on this planet. They were also allowed to keep their protective coating on their skin until it absorbed into their bodies. They were not traumatised by unnecessary circumcisions or any other industrial concepts. Instead they got to go into their mother’s bed and suckle as they’re meant to skin to skin. I was able to join them falling asleep with a heart full of overwhelming loving feelings. From my experience I implore everyone who is contemplating growing a family get in touch with Heather and learn what she has to share.
Imagine a world where every child has a gentle welcome to it in this way. I would like to add that the mother of my last born told me that the beautiful birthing experience she had with the homebirth healed the trauma she carried from the previous 3 hospital births”.
Easy Birthing Resources pack here
More info on induction . . especially for the acupuncturists who feel that they are handmaidens to the men’s agenda and their ‘medicine’. Baby may not be ‘cooked; yet. NOT READY or mum is NOT READY – and possibly baby is in the wrong spot. The pelvic opening work I designed over the decades of working with women may be easily correcting the potential for great life long harm in getting in the way of the mum and baby dance. See more here
To the doula I sent this mum to .. . “this time 3 years ago you walked into our house to help bring our beautiful Samantha Jade into the world just after 5am. We cannot thank you enough for all of your support throughout Sammy’s pregnancy, birth and beyond! Also a huge shout out the Heather for her unbelievable support and care over the past 9 years! Couldn’t have achieved the much desired calm home birth without your advise and care. Melissa, your hypnobirthing course changed my view on birth and gave me the confidence and tools to overcome my fears and achieve a calm birth. Lastly, Paul, your commitment and faith in me and our birthing decisions was unwavering, even when I had doubts. I would not have had the confidence needed without you by my side. You are an amazing birth partner, husband and father.
Happy Birthing day to us (Liz, Paul, Heather, Melissa and myself)!
Life changing experience